Conquering the Chaos
by Tatiana Ekaterina
Summary: Follows the end of book 6 through book 7, using the same type of POV, but this time following Tonks and Lupin. How does Tonks convince him? What didn't Harry see?


_Conquering the Chaos_

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling is God. To dig more into her story and characters is an honor I don't really deserve. I'll run with it! I bow down. **

Ch 1- Too Great a Loss

POV: 3rd person limited omniscient, like the book, following Tonks.

Time: HP 6, the night of Dumbledore's death, right after Tonks and Lupin have left the hospital wing.

Tonks followed Remus as he left the hospital wing, the phoenix song sounding in their ears.

"I don't want to talk about this now," he told her, not even bothering to turn. She didn't respond.

He continued walking out toward the entrance hall, through the front doors, and down the path that led from Hogwarts, heading back to Hogsmeade. Tonks followed silently behind, for her post was also there. The grounds were deserted as far as they could see. Finally he stopped near the towering boars at the front gate. They could still hear Fawkes' lament.

"Please Dora," he pleaded, "This is not the time." Then he saw her beginning to cry.

"I can't be alone right now Remus…it's too much, I just need a friend, I can't handle the fact that he's really…" She was breaking down as she spoke, and shook silently, her words lost in continuing sobs.

Remus could barely control his own emotion as he ran forward to hug her. She made no other move but to collapse into his shoulder, letting herself go. The feeling was too overwhelming. Her greatest mentor was gone, her parents' friend, their protector, and their leader in the fight against Voldemort. Who would lead them now? She shuddered as her instinct told her it had to be Harry. The grounds of Hogwarts were never darker. They looked truly frightening now, something she had never experienced before. Could Harry really be ready? You-Know-Who frightened her to death, and she was a trained Auror! Tears turned to silent panic and fear, painted clearly across her face. She could no longer register the phoenix, but he was still there. Remus glanced directly at her then and began to lead her gently down to the Three Broomsticks, where they both had rooms. It was a slow process; neither could avoid stumbling with the weight of their grief. Remus let her go before the door of the pub. He held open the door and she stepped inside. He followed carefully behind, checking the long street of shops. Suddenly she remembered her responsibility.

She whispered urgently, "Remus, Madam Rosmerta…"

But a frantic and disheveled Rosmerta ran right for him, in full hysterics-

"It can't be true Remus, can it? I just saw him not an hour ago! He was weak, but Dumbledore and Harry took my brooms to get back up to the castle! What went wrong? Who else is dead?"

"Thankfully no one else." Remus responded tersely, and Madam Rosmerta exhaled in a huff, "but several are still in the hospital wing. It was Snape, he managed to escape with the rest of the Death Eaters. We're not sure how they came in," he lied, knowing Draco was not really to be blamed.

"Snape!?!"

"Yes, it seemed he fooled us all," Remus sighed quietly. This was the opening Tonks needed.

"Madam Rosmerta, I have to perform a spell on you," she began, "you've been a victim of the Imperious curse."

"Exactly as I feared!" Rosmerta said immediately, seemingly not surprised, "I've lost the ability to think clearly and remember my actions." She calmed down slightly and continued, "Please help me now, while I can be conscious of my real intentions. I'll tell the ministry whatever I can remember. Do you know who was behind it? I always draw a blank." She paused in thought, trying to remember more, and then added, "I believe I communicated with him through an enchanted coin." A new thought registered on her face, "This one in fact." She pulled a coin out of her pocket then and handed it to Tonks. She took it.

"Yes we do," Tonks began, "but we'd rather avoid talking about him. He was young and foolish, and at the mercy of You-Know-Who. He is not the real problem."

"Well then, let's get on with it. We all need our rest." Rosmerta breathed.

Tonks performed the spell to release Rosmerta and asked her about as much as she could remember from her mental captivity. It wasn't much. The three sat down at a table to talk; the bar was completely desolate, a rarity despite the late hour. Remus sat beside Tonks but didn't offer much; he mostly stared off out the front windows. He looked older and more broken than Tonks had ever seen him, and that was saying something. Even his transformations didn't age him this much. But he'd never seemed more desirable than now sitting in the low light. Who else could handle what Remus could? How he could think she could find another better for her was beyond her.

After they were finished, Rosmerta offered them each a drink and they accepted, despite knowing that firewhiskey would really do nothing for the pain. Conversation remained thin on the ground. Rosmerta was first to leave, barely managing a goodnight as she went to clean her bar. Tonks performed a patronus, sending her report off to Kingsley Shacklebolt. Remus grimaced as the werewolf came near him. Tonks managed a smile. The werewolf ran off. Remus and Tonks climbed the stairs. She paused outside his room.

"You can't avoid this forever Remus, you know I can see your hesitations when you try to push me away." Tonks said calmly.

"No matter what I think, Dumbledore is foremost in my thoughts right now." He responded.

"Of course," she paused seriously, and then mused with a half-smile, "That wasn't a no."

"I can't let you talk me into this," he groaned. He turned and opened his door and she followed him inside. He didn't try to push her out, intelligent man that he was. He could recognize hopeless causes.

"And that's why I can't let it go," she said fiercely, "it wouldn't bother you so much if you didn't love me like you do. I need a shred of sanity and happiness in all this chaos, Remus, and I can see it here." She put her hand on his chest.

He removed it as he spoke, "I am nothing but chaos, even on my best days."

She began to protest and reached for him but he shook his head yet again and looked down at the floor. She put one hand under his chin before he could turn again and grabbed his waist to hold him still.

"Let me make sense of you. I am not weak. I can weather the storm. I am an Auror!" He didn't respond, so she tried a different track, one she had yet to mention. "I'm just as strong as my cousin. I didn't know him well, but my Mum tells me that all the time." Remus opened his mouth but said nothing. "I am here for you too, just like he was. Let me in." He looked into her eyes briefly. "Let me help too," she repeated, tracing a scar on his face.

Suddenly he grabbed her extended arm and yanked her against him. He crushed his mouth over hers, not bothering to hold back. She wrapped her arms around him immediately and threw herself into the kiss. Their lips parted, and she felt his tongue lightly caressing the inside of her mouth. She eagerly explored his mouth and licked his lips lightly. He broke the kiss first and she let him, not wanting to push him too much. He was right, tonight wasn't the night; there was too much sadness. But he didn't let her go. Suddenly she realized there were tears in her eyes again. He brushed one away and softly caressed her face.

"I love you," he whispered simply. He wasn't smiling, just gazing at her intently.

No matter how the Wizarding World was being torn apart, love would not be ignored. Her own parents had braved the first war and the fury of the Black family over her mother's choice, yet they remained happy and together. Now it was her turn.

"I know." she answered with a tiny smile, and then she added intently, "I need you, you know."

Remus started. She knew what he was thinking. Who could possibly _need_ a werewolf for anything good? The thought brought back the smile. She was still holding him, so she took advantage of the opportunity to kiss him again just because she could, lightly and briefly this time. He didn't pull away. When she pulled back he kissed her forehead and then sighed, stepping away from her into the room.

"I still feel like I'm making an enormous mistake." He said.

"You love me?" She asked.

"I can't help it," he admitted in a whisper. He wouldn't look at her.

"Then it can't be a mistake." She walked around to him, kissed his cheek, and then walked to the door. Before she opened it, she said, "Sleep as much as you can, we know the future's coming." As she put her hand on the door, she looked back and saw he was staring at her. She held his gaze. "I love you too Remus, always." Then she opened the door and left the room. As she walked down the hall, she whispered out loud, "Thank you Professor, you were right. He is worth it. Say hi to my cousin for me?... Rest in Peace." She stepped into her own room and went to sleep.

**So I know you know what happens, but this is my first HP fanfic that's more than half a page, so stay with me, and please, please review! Twilighters, please also read my Leah/Embry journey story, Doing Good. I'll try to get another chapter up soon; I'm slowly getting better at getting my ideas down faster. I'm a Sirius freak, but I seem to always write about my 2****nd**** favorite character, Remus: must be the obvious drama and heartache. I was so happy JK got him a woman, the poor guy needs it. Plus, Tonks ain't stupid! **

**TE :D**


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